Holland Diaries 2: Coffee Shops Do Not Serve Coffee in Holland!

**This post is for mature and discerning readers only**

All I was hoping for when I went to Holland was to spend some laughtime with my closest friends and perhaps try a space brownie:-)

Instead, on my first night in Rotterdam, L and I found ourselves at the front door of a coffeeshop, our arms full of groceries.

L: Oy! Parang awa mo na, dyan lang ako sa kabilang kanto nakatira, at never akong gumawi dito. Kaya please, since it's to assuage your piqued interest naman, please, ikaw magsabi ha?
Me: Sure! Just let me know what to ask for. Ano bang tawag nila dito?
L: Huh? Weed!

After minutes of fearful hesitation watching people come and go, we enter the coffeeshop. I go to the counter and ask the stupid question.

Hello, do you sell some weed?
The man looked at me as if I was an idiot.
I repeat the question, and then L,exasperated, comes and says
Do you have white widow?

***White Widow, it turns out, is a type of Cannabis used as medical marijuana. It's grown in Holland, and is a particularly potent variety of weed.***

And then there it was, a look of understanding.
He gets a tiny pack, the size of a matchbox, with some greenish dried leaves. He tells us, 100 grams = 8 Euros.
Whoa! Mahal ha! Pero sige na, ika nga. When in Rome...

We hurriedly pay and out we go laughing at the stress and my stupidity!

While walking to L's apartment:
L: Really Jo, You have to ask if they sell weed? It's a coffeeshop!
J: Haller, kasalanan ko ba na di nila alam ang weed?!
L: Ay sorry, dapat pala cannabis sinabi mo! Pero infer ha, ayan ha, true test of friendship pucha ka. Kahit na di ako napapagawi sa lugar na ito, pumunta ako para sa iyo! Di na ako dadaan dito ever!
J: Touched! Charing! Infer, siguro naguluhan yung tindero ano? Hahaha! Imagine neng, puro grocery bags na puno ng cookie butter ang bitbit natin haha! Tapos dadaan pa para bumili ng weed! Hahaha!

It's crazy, weed/marijuana is legal in Holland, so why did it feel as if we we were doing something sneaky?

Do not throw stones ha! Kanya-kanyang 100 things to do before we die diba? Heck, I am nearly in my mid-thirties and I have always been square. Here's the chance to do something crazy and 100% legal, so why not try the oft-maligned weed and cross it out of my 100 things to try before I die?!


The set-up. Weed combined with some Marlboro.

Sa totoo lang, mahirap magtry ng weed kung di ka naman smoker. Nakakaubo kaya ang pagsmoke! Pero alang alang sa experience, sige, kinalimutan ko muna ang allergic rhinitis ko.

So yes I did try weed in Holland. We only used a fourth of the 100 gram pack we bought, though.

I think one try is enough. If you ask me there was nothing spectacular about the experience, except some eerie heat travelling through my chest. Sabi nila, nakakarelax daw ang weed, nagutom lang kami! Manonood na lang ako ng Big Bang Theory, o kaya magwalking, feeling ko mas effective pa yun pangrelax!

To be honest, I don't see why you'd become addicted to it. The only thing that we noticed was that after using it, we were so hungry that L and I finished a big caserola of sinigang na baboy and rice.


So what's the point, you ask? Well, weed, is well, not really that happy drug, people hype it to be. Or baka nga, kanya kanyang reaction lang yun. Personally, one try is enough. The next day, when we went to Amsterdam, where coffeeshops are in every corner, I didn't even want to try na the space brownie --- the brownies spiked with cannabis. Haller, sayang lang 4€ ko no. I'd rather spend my money on good chocolate!

So be careful when in the Netherlands :-) Remember that coffee shops do not sell coffee! They sell cannabis! If you want coffee look for CAFES!